Have you ever let the fear of what others might say or think of you stop you from doing something?
Did you not tell the person in line next to you that you liked their shirt because they’d think you were strange?
Did you not change jobs because you feared others judging you for taking a less paying position or a position that wasn’t esteemed by society?
Did you not share your faith with somebody because you were afraid you’d lose their friendship?
Sadly, I know there are many instances where I haven’t done what I wanted to or felt like God was leading me to because I feared what others would think of me.
God recently convicted me of how I idolize others’ opinion of me. I’ve been seeking to please people above seeking to please Him at times. I’m fearful of others’ negative judgement and losing respect and friendships. This fear leads me to idolize them and their opinion of me rather than trusting the Lord whose opinion is the only one that truly matters.
As I prayed over the summer and what God wanted me to do once school was out, I really didn’t know what I’d do for quite some time. I prayed about summer school jobs. I prayed about the possibility of nannying for the summer but wasn’t sure if that was for me either. I also prayed about partnership development (PD) full-time. (Although I never understood how PD could be a full-time job before I began this journey, I surely understand now.)
Eventually, I found out I didn’t get a summer school job. I wasn’t too upset. I was hopeful for the nannying position. Then I found out that the nannying position would be for only 3 weeks rather than most of the summer. I was pretty disappointed. My school loans came to mind immediately. How could I work for only 3 weeks in the summer when I stare at those numbers?
The day before I found out the nannying job would be less than what I was expecting, I was praying about it and felt God leading me to pray for the kids, “Lord, please soften the kids’ hearts that I’ll nanny this summer that they’ll come closer to you.” When I found out the job was only for 3 weeks, I questioned what God was saying to me. Did He really want me to pray for those kids that way? Wouldn’t God provide a full-time job for me this summer? Doesn’t He know my financial needs? God, this can’t be right. I’ll have to keep waiting for another job. Surely, He will provide.
I wasn’t confident in what I was hearing from the Lord. So I wanted to run it by people to see what they thought. Soon, I found myself seeking others’ approval instead of God’s, leaving me in an uncertain mess.
Thankfully God spoke to my heart through prayer and through a sermon at church. God convicted me of the way I was seeking others’ approval instead of His. He has led me again and again to surrender the desire to please people and instead to seek to please Him above all else. This is such a hard lesson for me to learn, but God’s giving me grace and forgiving me each time I mess up. God’s also affirming His love for me that is so unconditional. His love is NOT based on what I do. Others might judge me based on what I do, but God loves me unconditionally. Nothing I do can add to or take away from His love. This concept is so foreign to our culture, but it makes Christ that much more beautiful. It’s a slow learning process for me, but I’m thankful God cares so much about me that He wants me to learn it.
So while I know not having a full-time job for the summer goes against what the world has told me, I am choosing to follow what God has told me instead. I’m going to nanny for this family for 3 weeks and trust that God will meet all my needs. Philippians 4:19
I’m excited to use the other time God has given me to focus more fully on partnership development. While I truly have been enjoying meeting with people and developing partners, it’s also been very exhausting to come home from work each day and have nights filled with either meetings, phone calls, letter writing, or thank yous. I look forward to having more time to focus on PD and live a more balanced life. I’m also very much looking forward to family vacations and being involved with church ministries like VBS, Kid’s Camp, and a mission trip with Cumberland Baptist Church.
So while I’ve taken a stance this time against the world and have chosen to follow God, I know this won’t be the only time I’ll be tempted to seek to please people rather than God. Please pray with me that I learn to delight and believe in God’s love and acceptance of me. As I’m filled by God’s love, I won’t need to seek to be fulfilled by others’ acceptance of me. If people pleasing is something you struggle with too, maybe you can make it your prayer to learn God’s deep love for you too. With Christ, we can do all things.
I can’t thank you enough for all your encouragement, prayers, and support. I wouldn’t make it without you. I’m so humbled and in awe as financial and prayer partners continue to commit to the ministry in Spain. (Check out the When Am I Going page to see my support status.) I’m so thankful God has created us to do life together. I’m so thankful for YOU allowing me to be part of your team and choosing to be part of mine as we all are part of God’s team for His kingdom. Thank you again!
Please let me know how I can be praying for you; it’s a delight and blessing for me to be in specific prayer for you.
Other good things:
Women’s Retreat
I had a great weekend with women from GRC as well as others from the Sheboygan area. It was a wonderful retreat put on my Grace Connection. I was challenged to truly get real with God and was blessed by His presence and love. It was fun to connect with so many godly women and enjoy a time of refreshment.
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| GRC Women |
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