From my last post, I still had unknowns about where I’d be living this fall and whether or not I’d be accepted for full-time missions with World Team. Writing to you from my new home in Cumberland, I happily have both answers. 

World Team: I’ve been accepted! I’ve signed my contract to do full-time missions with World Team. I’m following God’s leading to Spain and hopefully will be joining the team there, but I’m also praying to stay open to God’s leading elsewhere. It’s a long process (or what seems long) to get to any field and serve.My first big step is determining God’s leading to a place to serve. Please pray that I’d be keen to the Spirit’s leading as I seek God on this. Once I know my location, I can begin to raise support to get there. However, I’ll also need to work awhile after I graduate to help pay off my student loans. We’re looking at about 2 years before I’d go anywhere. While this seems like far too long, I have to remember that this whole thing is a journey and process with God. He has much to teach me before I ever leave. 

Cumberland: I’m living with a teacher, Ann, who teaches at Cumberland High School. I also have another roommate and fellow intern, Larissa, who will be teaching at the Early Learning Center (3-5 year olds). We all have our own room and plenty of space. I’ve been so blessed with this living situation. Located outside of town, I’m really enjoying the peace and quiet of country living. However, my fear of animals is heightened here. Just this morning, we had a turkey and a deer cross the road in front of the car, and Ann has had a bear walk down her driveway! I’ve always been more afraid of animals than people while running, and it’s going to take extra trust in God to run alone out here.I don’t know my schedule of classes that I’ll be teaching yet nor which classes exactly I will be teaching, but I’m hoping I’ll find that out tomorrow at our first day of inservice. 

It’s hard to believe the school year is starting up already. Summer really flew by with so many great highlights with friends & family! As we know for college students, summer isn’t all play and no work. And so I am thankful for the work I did have at Bettersweet Bakery; it was a blessing to actually enjoy the work and work with incredible people too. Now I begin a new work at Cumberland, and I’m excited for the adventure ahead. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous too, but I’m continually giving that over to God. Today was already an adventure where I helped serve at the Queen’s Tea for Rutabaga Festival and attended the parade. (check out the photos on facebook)

While it’s challenging to be alone in a foreign town where I don’t know anyone, it’s also really sweet as it draws me closer to God. I’m thankful He’s challenged me in this way. His Word and constant presence gain deeper richness in this challenge. Just this morning, I read John 16:32b & 33: “Yet I am not alone, for my Father is with me. I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” These truths are so beautiful and exactly what I needed to hear. 1) I’m not alone 2) I have peace no matter the circumstance 3) I will have hardship here and challenges I don’t foresee now, but God will see me through them for nothing can overtake me with Him on my side. 4) Jesus has overcome the world!

May His truths encourage your heart as well. Whatever your battles, Jesus has victory over them. Life isn’t full of bliss and rest all the time. We will have challenges. But in them we also have peace, victory, and life in Christ. Praise God for His goodness and love that are everlasting.

Thank you all for your prayers and love. Please send me your prayer requests so that I may pray specifically for you too.

Easter weekend when I was home, I had three main questions to answer. The first question led to the next two:

1. So you’re a senior, what are you doing next?

A: This is my last semester of classes, and I’ll either be interning or student teaching in the fall. Then, I don’t know exactly. I’m trusting God is either leading me to missions or something else.

2. Where will you be student teaching or interning?

A: I don’t know, I’m trusting the Lord for a placement.

3. What are you doing for the summer?

A: I don’t know, I’m trusting God for a job.

All three of these questions had no specific answer. I was in the unknown, just trusting God to provide. And He has! (for 2 of the 3 big questions anyway : ) 

Going in reverse order, 

What are you doing for the summer?

I’m working at Bettersweet Bakery, and I love it! I enjoy baking so much! I also nanny for the two children of the owners. It’s a very sweet family with very sweet treats. 

Check it out: http://bettersweetbakery.com/

Question 2: Where will I be interning or student teaching?

Cumberland! Two weeks ago, I had been praying about the fall and asking God where I’d be. I had known about the Cumberland internship since April, but I didn’t think I could apply since it was only offering ESL. I needed Spanish and ESL, and I didn’t really want to be 5 hours away from home. I had pretty much crossed Cumberland off my list of possibilities. Then God brought it back to me, and I felt Him leading me to inquire if they would offer some Spanish teaching practice with the ESL. Well, the principal was very quick to get back to me and set up a perfect situation. I interviewed last week and was given the job! So in the fall, I’ll be an intern at Cumberland High School. My first 9 weeks, I’ll teach Spanish while also teaching ESL to the migrant students that come up for 2 months. Then for the next 9 weeks, I’ll teach ESL in the Barron school district. I’ve contacted a church in Cumberland that I hope to attend, and they’re trying to help me find housing. I’m trusting that since God has provided a teaching position, He’ll provide a place to live too.

Question 3: What’s my next step after graduation?

I still don’t know. However, I have been feeling led to return to Spain with World Team, the missions organization I had my internship in Spain with 2 years ago. This summer, I’ll attend RACE (Reciprocal Assessment & Candidate Evaluation) for a week in July. After a long application process, many pre-tests, and boughten plane tickets, I’m finally set to go. The beginning portion of this week is when I’ll learn more about World Team and what it looks like to serve God with them. The second portion of the week, World Team and hired professionals will assess my strengths and weaknesses through interviews, team situations, and other trials to determine my preparedness for full-time missions. At the end of this week, I’ll either be asked to join staff with World Team, come back in a couple years because I’m not quite ready, or that this isn’t really what God has in store for me. Please pray with me that World Team staff and myself will be aligned with what God’s will is for me. If I’m accepted to join staff, I will most likely commit to 3 years of full-time missions work in Spain. If I’m not asked to join staff, we’re back to the same response: I don’t know, I’m just trusting God.

While sometimes this response of the unknown seems irritating, it’s also a very sweet place to be. I find it comforting knowing that God is sovereign and provider of all things. Being in the unknown allows me to cling closely to Him and learn to trust Him even more. I hope that you too can find comfort in trusting God with your unknowns.

I know I’ve talked with many of you since Easter and answered these questions; however, I also know I haven’t been able to catch up with many of you. I’m sorry for that. It’s crazy how busy summer can become if we don’t take time to stop! Thank you all for your prayers and continued support as I follow where God leads me. Please send your prayer requests my way, so I can be in prayer for you too. 

With Christ’s love, KTB

2 Corinthians 4:16-18

Just over two weeks ago, I was reminded how quickly life can change. How our own plans can dissolve and life can take a turn at any moment. God used the experience with my ovarian cyst to help me turn to an eternal perspective with deeper understanding and greater enthusiasm. He also used it to show me His incredible power and increase my belief in the power of prayer. Thank you all for your prayers, incredible love, and words of encouragement throughout the whole process. God has blown me away with the love He’s shown me through so many people. Thank you for being His hands & feet in my life! I’d like to share the story with you in greater detail; my prayer is that it strengthens and encourages your faith.

It all began on Friday, April 13, when I was heading home for the weekend so I could attend Alyssa Gabrielse’s bridal shower. Through facebook carpool, I had two freshman guys riding with me to Fond Du Lac. After picking them up, I stopped to get gas before heading out of town. It was around 1:30 and as I filled up with gas, I started to feel a little nauseous. Since I hadn’t eaten lunch yet, I shrugged it off and figured I’d feel better once I ate something. I nibbled on some food but didn’t find that helping.

As we continued on I-90, I became increasingly nauseous, and sweat was beginning to surface on my forehead. I apologized to my riders and explained I wasn’t feeling very well. They encouraged me to open the window and told me not to worry about it. With the airflow, my temperature seemed to be in control. However, the pain in my stomach began to increase. Nearing a rest stop, I decided it might be best to stop and try to rid myself of whatever was causing the pain. I apologized to the guys for the random stop and inconvenience. I proceeded with increasing pain to the bathroom. Standing above the toilet hoping to throw up, I began to worry it was something more. 

The pain was getting worse and worse. I wasn’t able to throw up. Whatever was causing me this pain wasn’t leaving. Now I was not only was I feeling ill, but my fear also showed up. The pain no longer felt like the kind where I’d throw up. It had turned into a stabbing pain on my lower left abdomen. 

I decided to call my mom, thankful she was a nurse. No answer. I tried home. No answer. I tried her cell again. No answer. I called dad. No answer. I called home. No answer. I left a message on the machine begging mom to call me thinking maybe she was home but not answering. After thinking about how much worry that probably caused mom, I wish I hadn’t left it. I didn’t know at the time that I wouldn’t be able to calm her fears for another hour from a bedside phone in the ER.

After realizing I would have to make a decision without my parents’ help, I told the guys I was really sorry but didn’t know what to do. The pain in my stomach was increasing, and I didn’t know what was going on. With concerned faces, they offered to drive me back to La Crosse and allow me to lie in the backseat. I was so thankful to have such kind strangers riding with me and gratefully crawled up in the backseat. 

As they drove down I-90 to the next exit, my fear increased that something was terribly wrong. I had never had pain like this before. Even the pain from passing gall stones wasn’t this intense. Not knowing my own anatomy very well, I wondered if it was my appendix. (I couldn’t remember what side that was on. haha) Either way I knew this pain was like nothing before. As we turned off I-90 to head back to La Crosse, I asked the guys to stop at the gas station. We were in Sparta, and I didn’t think I could make it another 50 minutes back to La Crosse. 

Curling over with pain, I ambled into the gas station to ask where the hospital was or if I could call 911. The attendant gave me a map and told me it’d be best to make the 10 minute drive to the hospital. I was thankful for her assistance, but 10 minutes seemed like an eternity to endure more pain. 

I gave the map to the guys, and they took off. They dropped me off at the ER doors and parked the car while I checked myself in. When I finally got to see the doctor, he asked about the pain and said we’d have to wait for the results to the blood & urine tests they had taken. He said it appeared like a kidney stone from the way I was trying to get comfortable. I was hooked up to an IV and asked to remain calm while writhing in pain on the hospital bed. 

Remaining calm was certainly a difficult task. Thankfully, God used Zephaniah 3:17 “The Lord your God is with you, he is might to save....” The reassurance that He was with me helped to calm me down. However, my pain was not going away. I was allowed to call my mom, and the doctor explained to her what was going on. We awaited for blood test results, and another nurse came in and told me they’d need to do some physical tests. 

While waiting for test results, I vomited over the side of the bed and writhed in pain some more. They were unable to give me strong pain medication because I was allergic to morphine, and they only had morphine-based medication. Nausea medication helped some, but the stabbing pain on my left side wasn’t going anywhere.

In the meantime, the guys I rode with were wondering what to do with the car and how I was doing. I figured they should just go back to La Crosse, but they ended up sticking around. We finally got test results back, and the doctor figured something was going on with my ovaries. Since there was no ultrasound unit at the hospital, they needed to transfer me to La Crosse via ambulance. 

Once we found that out, they told my parents who were already on their way to La Crosse to be with me. Then the nurse told the guys that were with me, and they drove the car back to La Crosse for me. God was really watching over me when those guys asked for a ride. I have no idea what I would have done without them. I’m so grateful that they were so kind and understanding. What an experience it must have been for them!

After a 20 minute wait for an available ambulance, I was transferred to La Crosse. Since the pain was going no where, all the bumps in the road really stuck out which made my first ambulance ride pretty uncomfortable. I asked the guy in the back with me if they had a Bible he could read to me. He said no and that it was the first time someone had ever asked for a Bible before. Maybe they’ll start to carry Bibles : )

While I was wheeled into a room at the La Crosse ER, tears rolled down my cheeks and I wondered if the pain would ever go away. The nurse asked me if I was scared, and I said no. I only wanted the pain to go away. I honestly wasn’t scared. I didn’t care at this point what happened. I thought if I’m going to die, that’s going to be great. I can’t wait to be with Jesus anyways, and then I’ll be free of this pain too. I’m thankful I have the hope of heaven and don’t have to fear death. What beauty we have in Christ! 

As the nurse hooked me up to their machines, I rolled forward and threw up again just as the doctor walked in. I couldn’t help but smile inside at how humbling this experience was. With hair drooping over my face, vomit hanging from my mouth, and eyes filled with pain, I’m sure I was quite the sight. The doctor was so kind and got me pain medication right away. I was so thankful! It really helped. They were able to do an ultrasound, and the tech told me she thought the doctors would be able to help me out from what she found.

What sweet relief! As I awaited the doctors and laid in the bed. I kept coming back to the Lord and thanking Him for being with me. We are so blessed to have a God that is near to us and never leaves us nor forsakes us. 

Not long after the tech left, 3 of my sweet roommates came to be with me until my parents arrived. They were intent on staying however long it took even though they all were overloaded with work to do. They prayed for me and stayed by my side. Tears began to fill my eyes as I realized how loved I am. The love of these girls blew me away, and the prayers of others and my parents’ arrival was almost too much love to handle. My parents had been texting and phoning family, friends, prayer chains and more asking for prayer support. By the end of all their requests, we had people in 6 different states and 4 different countries praying. It’s incredible how we can all come together for His cause and be united even across thousands of miles.

Soon after my parents arrived, the doctor came and explained what they found from the ultrasound. A 3 in cyst had formed on my left ovary. Part of it appeared to have wrapped around and might be cancerous. They thought it could have twisted completely around the ovary previously and caused so much pain in Sparta, but they had no way to tell for certain since there was no ultrasound taken in Sparta. The doctor explained that because of the cyst’s intensity and possibility of cancer, they’d probably need to do surgery to remove the cyst and the ovary. It was also possible my uterus would need to be removed. Since Mayo in Rochester had specialists in oncology and gynecology, they’d be transferring me there. 

As they explained it all, I saw the concern on my parents’ and friends’ faces rise. But I don’t remember feeling increased anxiety. I was just relieved they’d be able to take the pain away. The peace of Christ was truly with me in that moment. 

Thankfully the pain medication was at work, and I was able to sleep the entire ambulance ride to Rochester. Once there, I had more tests done and another ultrasound. I was finally left alone in the hospital room around 2 a.m. It was a long day, and my poor parents needed rest too. They left, and I was again alone. I didn’t want them to stay and preferred they leave to get good rest. But the fact that I was alone became very clear. I was so thankful again for the Lord’s nearness and scripture that He helped implant in my mind to remind me of Him and grant me peace again.

In the late morning after my parents had arrived, the doctor made rounds and explained the ultrasound showed the cyst to be in the middle of my ovaries. It appeared I wouldn’t need surgery if they could control the pain. They wanted to observe me for the weekend and see how things went. 

It was a miracle! They said La Crosse’s service was very reliable. How could this be explained except by God’s hand! As the text messages rolled in and assurances of prayer by hundreds of family and friends, I was so amazed. I knew that people were praying, and it was clear God had answered. Praise to Him! He is so powerful, and I’m so thankful to have so many people who love the Lord in my life. The Christian body, medical care, and God’s love blew me away as I tried to fathom what was happening. 

That day Amy & Andy & Trinity drove down from Eau Claire to visit me, and Ken & Lynne stopped in from a trip to Minnesota as well. I was so amazed at how God used my aunts and uncles to show me love with their company and love. I was thankful they came and so thankful my parents remained with me through it all. 

Into the evening, I really began feeling better. The doctors said I’d probably be able to leave the next day if I was feeling better. Wahoo! It was a miracle, and sure enough Sunday came, and I was really feeling better. I was allowed to shower and eat real food again. I felt like a new person! With a final visit from the doctor giving me directions to rest for the next week and to make a check-up in 4 weeks, I was freed! They said the cyst should dissolve itself, and I’d feel improvements every 3 days. I was excited to leave and happy to have my parents to bring me back to La Crosse.

Riding back with my parents, I was again overwhelmed with the feeling of love. They’d truly do anything for me, and I’m so blessed to have parents like them. I love them so much, and they love me even more. I’ll never be able to repay them for all they’ve done for me, but I pray God’s blessings and heavenly treasures for them. I was so thankful they were with me throughout the entire weekend.

Settling back into my house that day, I felt happy to be home and out of the hospital. That week I had the doctor’s excuse from classes and rested. It was a challenge to rest. I struggled not feeling like myself. I was so used to running, going to class, doing homework, attending outside activities, etc. But I couldn’t do any of it. I felt too tired and worn from even an hour outside the house. 

God used the week to remind me that those things I do don’t make me ME. They also don’t earn His love. He loves me the same whether I’m lying in bed or going to class and sharing my faith. What makes me ME is that I’m God’s beloved daughter. I’m not a runner. I’m God’s beloved daughter who enjoys running. I’m not a student. I’m God’s beloved daughter who’s privileged enough to be a college student. I’m not an energizer bunny. I’m God’s beloved daughter who moves in Christ’s power. Christ in me is who I am.

It’s been an incredible journey that isn’t quite over. I still have some pain at random times, and I head back to Mayo on May 11 for a check-up. I’ve been overwhelmed by the love of family, friends, and the body of Christ. Thank you everyone for all your prayers, love, and cards/packages/gifts. God’s love has been poured out into my life these past few weeks in immeasurable ways. Thank you all for being His love in my life! 

Praise be to God the Father forever and ever. Amen!