A Letter to Grandma

Every once in awhile, the urge to write Grandma would come. It’d be about a month since I’d written or something was on my heart that I wanted to share with her or I just felt like saying hello. 

Yesterday, that urge to write Grandma came. 

It was the first time since her funeral that I wanted to write her a letter. It was an awfully strange feeling - to want to share my heart and not be able to. If I did write and just didn't send it, would it feel the same? Could I believe that she’d know from heaven and it’d be just like I was sharing with her but getting no response? 

Many times when I wrote, I wasn’t waiting for her response. It was just a sweet comfort to share my heart with her and to hear hers in a letter whenever it would come.

You know when you get the feeling you just have to share something with someone?? What do you do with that yearning when that person is no longer there?

For me, it remains. The pain of the loss stings. It stings the heart. It stings my eyes with tears. But mostly it stings my heart and it hurts.

I want to be mad, mad at someone. Turn the pain to another emotion and get it out.

Who is there to be mad at though? 

Mad at Grandma for passing away? No way. 

Mad at God for death? No way.

Anger isn’t the answer. I have to choose to be thankful. Thankful to God for the hope of heaven and eternal life. Thankful to Grandma for the way she loved me and made me feel cared for and safe.  Thankful for the life we did get to share together. Thankful for all the memories and love.

So while my heart hurts and longs to share things with Grandma that I no longer can, I can rejoice in the many good things God gave me through Grandma. And while I haven’t decided if I will write her another letter, I want to share my “final” letter to her that I wasn’t able to share at the funeral. (Thankfully my cousin, Erin, did a great job sharing it for me!) Maybe if I can share it, it will mark the end, the truly final letter. The closure to the sting of the end and that portion of our relationship can close. 

It probably won't end just like that. If we're being honest, it's not that easy. Nevertheless I can hope that this will be a blessing in some way - if not for my heart then for the memory of who Grandma was and the incredible way that she loved us all so much.

The final letter...

Dear Grandma,

With all that I love you, I cannot find all the right words to say goodbye and a final letter just doesn’t seem quite enough. I will surely miss our exchanges. I love you with all of my heart, Grandma. 

Thank you for the ways that you’ve shown me love. I will never forget your listening ear, your loving heart, your encouragement to follow Jesus wherever He leads me (even if it’s thousands of miles away from you), your honesty with me and your promises to keep my secrets, your banana bread recipe, your letters and cards that never missed a holiday, the packages you sent across the ocean that cost more to ship than the net worth of what was inside, your willingness to drive across the state and beyond to see your loved ones, your love for good food, family and friends, your ability to host us all for Christmas until your dying days, your love of God’s Word and how you clung to His promises, your desire for all of us to know and love Jesus, and so much more about you that I love and will miss. 

I will love you forever, Grandma. Until we hug again in heaven, I’ll be missing you with tears, joy, and a smile knowing that you’re in a better place. Give Grandpa a big hug for me. I love you and miss you both dearly.

All my love, 

Kelsey

If heaven had an address, I’d send you this for sure.

Finding Freedom

Living in Spain has brought all kinds of learning experiences for me. I’ve gotten to learn new things about language, culture, driving, teamwork, and church-planting to name a few.

I’m also learning a lot about myself. As I’ve had to make many decisions on my own here, I’ve learned that I am a terrible decision-maker! It takes me way too long to make a decision, and I often second guess if I made the right one.

One day talking with my mom I asked her, “Was I always like this?!”

She said, “No, it’s gotten worse as you’ve gotten older.” As I reflected on my life, I realized that as I grew in my faith I became worse at making decisions. How could that be?!

It shouldn’t be that way! But I’m starting to realize that I have feared upsetting God. I have feared falling back into sin, and I have feared losing Him. These fears are not based on God’s truths, and they have paralyzed me for too long.

God promises us freedom not fear. I’m in the beginning of this journey towards freedom, and I don’t know what it’s going to look like or what it’ll take to get me there. I am excited to begin the journey though and hopeful that God is going to teach me what it really means to be free in Christ. 

Thank you so much for doing life with me and taking part not only in what God is doing in Spain, but also in what God is doing in my life. I’m so thankful for your partnership and could not do this without you!

February Update

Thank you so much for your continued partnership in prayers and finances. I am so encouraged by you and thank God for each one of you. I can’t fully express how encouraged I am by your partnership. It’s such a blessing to know I’m not in this alone and that you care about the Spanish people too. Thank you so much!

In the last newsletter, I mentioned that we were praying about a trip to the USA this summer with students from the English Academy. Good news is things are rolling to make this happen!

This past weekend we had an informational meeting for parents and students interested in the trip. We had 5 boys show up! Praise God for their interest. We hope and pray that we fill the 10 spots to give the max amount of kids this experience. Students have 2 weeks to sign-up, and we would like to see some girls sign-up too! 

This trip would be during the month of July. We aim to place the youth in homes with youth around their age. The students would spend 2 weeks with the family and then head to Castaway Club (a Young Life camp) for a week. The final week they would return to their host families. 

We are planning about one event a week for the Spanish youth. We’d like them to spend as much time as possible with the families, improving their English and making a strong connection. Our hopes are that the students see and feel the love of Christ in the families they stay with.

Please pray for this planning stage as we make arrangements here in Spain and in Wisconsin. 

Thank you so much for taking part in what God is doing in Spain! Please let me know how I can be praying specifically for you too.

January Update

I hope you all enjoyed a lovely Christmas and are enjoying the new year!

God has provided a really neat opportunity for me this month: I get to live with Carmen’s parents! Carmen is my good friend from Madrid who was an exchange student to Oostburg High School. In order to become more fluent in speaking Spanish, I needed to be in a situation where I would use it more. 2 weeks in and I can say it’s been great! 

Carmen’s dad is retired, so we spend a lot of time together. He asks many questions about English that I turn around into questions about Spanish. We make a great team!

While I’m in Madrid, I also have the opportunity to learn more about other ministries in Spain. I’ve been able to visit other Christian organizations, meet different missionaries, and attend local churches - Catholic and Evangelical. We hope this time of learning will help me glean ideas and vision as I pray about what God wants ministry to look like for me in Spain.

Please pray that this month is a great time of learning Spanish: language, culture, and ministry. 

I’m excited to see what God has in store and what I’ll be able to put into practice when I go back to Cáceres. Thank you so much for being part of what God is doing here in Spain!

With love, Kelsey

October Update

October has really flown by! It has been seemingly non-stop and filled with many good things. I find myself missing the beautiful Wisconsin fall with the changing colors of the leaves, crisp mornings, sunny afternoons, and caramel apple pie hot out of the oven.

Yet God is doing neat things here in Spain, and I’m thankful to be part of it. Recently I’ve been able to have spiritual conversations with my neighbors, a Spanish friend, and my teacher. These conversations give me hope and encouragement to keep praying for God to move here in Spain. 

So what I have I been up to? 

I have started taking Spanish classes Mon-Thurs morning. I LOVE it!! My teacher is really great, and I enjoy our time together. I only wish I could be studying and learning more of the language. I’m thankful that I do get some time though, and I’m really thankful for such a good teacher.

Class at the academy is going well, and recently one of my neighbor’s kids joined my class. I love being able to connect with the kids.

Speak Languages and Bible study for the university ministry have had a great start as you can read in my newsletter.

Youth group at church has changed this year to be discipleship groups that meet weekly and then large group events once a month. I’m looking forward to seeing how the year goes!

On Wednesday nights, there is a prayer meeting at church. It’s been a blessing to attend, and I was even asked to take my turn in leading the meeting. It is always stretching for me to go as I learn to pray in Spanish. Often times I find myself hesitant to go, but I’m always thankful that I went. 

Besides those activities, I find myself running to keep on top of trying to settle into my home, learn how team works and functions here, and try and have some fun in between :)

God is good, and I’m thankful to be here with Him. Thanks so much for all your prayers and encouragement!

All my love, 

Kelsey

THANK YOU!!!

Thank you SO much to everyone who sent packages and cards for my birthday! I felt so very loved. 

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Jesus is worth it

I hesitate in sharing some pictures of our time away as a team. Sometimes facebook can lend itself to making one believe a life is beautiful and adventurous and lovely. Yes, traveling as a team was really nice (thank you for praying!). But, the pictures don’t show the difficult times of living overseas. A tear-stained pillow. A clenched jaw of frustration. A heartache beyond words. 

Seeing Budapest and Bratislava was wonderful. I love being able to experience new places and see more of God’s creation in different cultures! It was great time to bond as a team and the conference was very applicable, full of wisdom, and thought-provoking. Kristin & I even got upgraded to a suite at the conference because I saw a mouse in our hotel room! All these things were great, and I thank God for them. 

Coming back to Cáceres, I had the opportunity to skype into my nephew’s 2nd birthday party and see videos and pictures too. I’m so thankful for technology in times like that! But it also makes the pain more real. I see what I’m missing. I see who I am missing. And that hurts.  

Lying in bed Sunday morning and thinking about the joys of travel and Budapest compared to the heartache of not being with family, not being home. And it doesn’t compare. It’s not worth it. Whatever things of this world that make life here enjoyable, they don’t come close in comparison to being with family.

However, Jesus is worth it. Jesus is worth the tears and the heartache. Jesus is the only thing worth living for. So while traveling and life in Europe does have its perks, I know that it doesn’t satisfy. The hole in my heart that aches for my family and home isn’t filled by that. But I serve a God who can supply all of my needs, and I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than right where He has me. 

I’m thankful to be His. I’m thankful He is good. I’m thankful He blesses us with good things. I share this not looking for sympathy but wanting to share reality. I want to share pictures of God’s beauty but also what is real. I hope that you too, wherever you are and whatever difficulty you are facing, can find that Jesus is enough. Jesus is worth it.

Moving in!

Thank you for all your prayers. God has answered your prayers for an apartment, and I love my new place! It’s been so fun to watch God work and move in the little time that I’ve been living in my apartment. 

This past Sunday, I was able to bake cookies for all the people in my building and begin introducing myself to them. From that point, many people graciously accepted the cookies and said if I needed anything, they were there to help. A few people invited me in to meet everyone in the family, and a couple people want me to practice English with them. Already this week, I was invited to go on a walk with a neighbor and invited over for supper with another neighbor and her children.  

Praise God for these opportunities and relationships that are already forming! Please continue to pray for the people in my building.

Laundry leak...

Although it's been fun to meet new people, everything about the apartment hasn't been roses. My first full day here the laundry machine gushed water out the back, my oven didn't work, and my landlord was concerned the freezer wasn't working. It was frustrating, but I was thankful the landlord didn't have fixes either and it wasn't just my lack of knowledge for how things work in Spain!

Thank you so much for taking part in what God is doing here in Spain. Without your support, I wouldn’t be able to live where I do. Your support helped fund all the cookies I was able to make and helped open the doors for relationships. Thank you for your prayers that help move the hearts of the people here and keep me held before God too. I can’t say thank you enough. I thank God for you often and pray that He richly blesses you in return for your partnership here. Thank you so much!

Love,

Kelsey

Coming up...

Tomorrow I'll head to Madrid to be with my teammate, Kristin, as she flies in from the states. I’ll then be spending significant time with my Cáceres team as we travel for the World Team European Area Conference. We'll spend a few days together just the Cáceres team, and then we’ll meet up with the rest of World Team Spain and all of World Team Europe for a week long conference in Budapest. Please pray for this to be a good time for our team to grow in unity and love for each other.

Upon return to Cáceres, I’ll continue with driving school and begin taking classes at a Grammar School to improve my Spanish. The university classes will begin in September as well, and we are seeking God’s leading on what the university ministry will look like. 

The contract for the English Academy is being finalized with hopes to move into the building on Sept. 15. We still don’t have a full-time teacher, so if you know of anyone who is interested in missions, loves kids, and is willing to teach - let us know!

We are approaching a busy season and gearing up for all that God has in store for the fall - as many of you are gearing up for the start of school and a busy season of life as well. Please pray that I would be drawing close to God every day and leaning on Him for all that I need. It has been difficult at times here in Cáceres to wait on God for relationships with people my age as well as more opportunities to improve my Spanish. Adjusting to team life and just figuring out what life looks like for me in Spain has been more of a challenge than I anticipated.

Your encouraging words, prayers, and support means so much to me - especially in the difficult times when I feel alone or wanting to give up. Thank you! Please let me know how I can be praying specifically for you too. I love hearing your updates and how I can pray.

The intern crew

It’s hard to believe we’re already halfway through July! Wow! Summer is flying by!

I can’t thank you enough for all of your prayers and support since I got to Spain. It has been a whirlwind of adventure with times of great joy and times of extreme exhaustion. Thank you for your notes of encouragement and uplifting prayers.

The internship program finished well. The interns loved their experience, and we loved having them here! One of the interns, Rebekah, wrote, “Something that God really taught me on the internship was how my identity is not in the things I can do or play. But my identity is found solely in Christ alone. I don't earn my Salvation by how well I play basketball but my Salvation is by Jesus' death on the cross. In Him I am found and He is enough!” We learned a great deal from the interns too - how to have a servant heart, a joyful spirit, and a positive attitude. The six weeks flew by, and we’re so thankful for their time here!

Now that the interns have left, basketball camp is over, and things have quieted down, I can really begin to settle in to life in Cáceres. 

Please pray as I begin looking for an apartment - one that is a blessing to host meals and events as well as visitors and with neighbors that will be open to the gospel. Please also pray for my team and I as we make a more defined job description for my first year here in Spain. Pray for wisdom as we continue to make progress on opening the English Academy too!

I’d love to hear from you and how I can be praying for you! Please shoot me an email or drop a note in the mail. I thank God for each of you and your partnership in the work that God is doing here in Spain. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Basketball/English Camp

A huge highlight since coming to Spain was the week of the Basketball/English Camp. I LOVED it!

It was awesome to share the love of Christ with 100+ kids through basketball. Not to mention that I got to do it with an incredible team! I loved having people from home here as well as working with new people from IA, PA, and FL.

Before camp kicked off, we began each day with devotionals at church. Once camp began, we loved those kids big time and had so much fun doing it! Some of the older campers joined us for lunch back at church where some members of the local church and some basketball/english team members shared their testimonies. We then had time for a little siesta and in the afternoon met up with the older campers for activities like soccer, football, ultimate frisbee, and basketball. 

The week finished with a fiesta at church, and it was packed with campers and parents! During the program that night, one of the basketball team members, Alyssa, was able to share how Jesus has changed her life. We continue to pray that God uses her story and works in the hearts of the campers and parents that they too might come to know Jesus and the great hope and joy we have in Him!

Internship Update

There seems to be a little confusion about where I am and what I’m actually doing. I hope that this post will help answer some questions and give you a little insight into the internship.

1. Where am I living?

I will be permanently living in Cáceres. I lived there for 2 weeks in an apartment with my teammate, Kristin. I will look for my own apartment when the internship is finished (July 6). 

2 weeks ago, we came to Velilla de San Antonio (a small town outside of Madrid). Tim, Paula, Kristin, the interns and I stayed at a hotel in town for the first week. This past week, Kristin, the interns, and I have been moving between the hotel, another teammate’s home in this town, and a trip to Bejar.

Kristin's spare room where I'm living until I have my own apartment

2. What have we been doing?

The first 2 weeks in Cáceres, I took care of setting up initial things for living in Spain: bank account, cell phone, etc.

Internship week 1: We taught through Sonship material that focuses on how we are no longer slaves but rather sons and daughters of God. We looked at how God has adopted us into his family and how richly we are blessed because of what Christ has done for us.

Internship week 2: We were involved in the Prayer Conference all week. We learned about the spiritual history of Spain, the spiritual needs of Spain, and much more. We also heard testimonies of nationals and teammates and praised God for how He has worked in our lives. We also visited other ministries and learned how to pray for them.

One ministry we visited is called Kilometro 0. They share the gospel in a large plaza in Madrid. My teammate, Betsy, was talking with a man from China who heard the gospel there. This man, Edwin, decided to trust his Christ as his Lord and Saviour after talking with Betsy and thinking about the need for a decision. Praise God!

1. 3. What will we be doing? 

Internship week 3: We will go to Ligonde (northern Spain) and serve at a house where people who walk the Camino de Santiago can stay. People from all over the world walk the Camino and are more open to spiritual conversations. Please pray that the Spirit would fill us and open people’s hearts to God.

Thank you for all your prayers. Please let me know how I can be praying for you too! There is so much more that I could tell you, but I hope this gives a little more clarity. Please don’t hesitate to write me if you’d like more information!

These are the 4 interns and Kristin. The interns are amazing! They have huge hearts to love God and are open to learning. Kristin just celebrated this week being in Spain for 1 year. I praise God for her and that we get to serve together. Thank God for them!

Dear family & friends,

Thank you so much for your prayers and encouragement. I felt so uplifted and loved as I prepared to leave home. Having your prayers, blessings, and notes of encouragement carried me through the difficulty of leaving home. Thank you so much!

My flights went smoothly coming to Spain, and my team received me so well in Cáceres. I am so thankful for them and all their love and kindness in helping me adjust to life in Spain. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind as I’ve dived into getting ready for the internship to begin (one of my jobs is to bake 40+ dozen cookies! :). I’ve also gotten my Spanish cell phone, set up my Spanish bank account, and applied for my residency card! It feels good to have begun setting up life here.

The internship program has begun. There are 2 girls and 1 guy from the states and 1 guy from Germany who are our 2014 summer interns. I’m so excited to  see how God works in and through them! Please be praying for Rebekah, Matt, Danielle, and Jonny as they embark on this step of their journey with God. Here’s a little outline of the internship:

Week 1 - Sonship

Week 2 - Prayer Conference

Week 3 - El Camino de Santiago

Week 4 - Prepare for Basketball/English Camp

Week 5 - Basketball/English Camp

Week 6 - Velilla

Thank you for praying for each intern and this experience in their lives. Please also pray that the Spirit would give my teammates and I us wisdom and discernment as we walk alongside the interns. 

Thank you all for your love and support. Knowing we are in this ministry together is such a joy and blessing. Please let me know how I can be praying for you too.

Love, Kelsey

Kristin and the interns in Madrid

The interns and myself in Madrid

"I thank my God in all my remembrance of you." Philippians 1:3

My Visa came!! Praise God! This is such a huge answer to prayer. God’s hand has been so evident in this whole process, and He has brought about my Visa in amazing time - just about 5 weeks when it could have been 3 months. Now I’ll be able to join my team in Spain to help with the internship program and have a little time to get my feet under me before the interns arrive. Thank you so much for praying that my Visa would come!

I’m working with the travel agent now to book my flight for May 8. It’s so very surreal that in less than a month I’ll actually be in Spain. Wow! We have 100% support and are all set to go! Thank you so much for every prayer and financial gift you've given to make this happen!

When I got my Visa from the mailbox, I had anticipated I would do a little happy dance. But I didn’t. It was a joyful surprise that I thanked God for but tears didn’t take long to follow. 

Having my Visa in hand made this all so very real. Spain has seemed like a long, distant goal. Having my Visa in hand brought Spain a whole lot closer. All that really stands between me and Spain now is goodbye. And that’s hard. Yet I'm thankful to have such good family and friends to miss. What a blessing!

Yes, I’m sad to say goodbye. At the same time I can say yes, I’m excited to say hello. Hello to Spain and all that God has in store there. I am so excited to see what lies ahead and so thankful for the team I'll be joining! I know that God is faithful, and I trust His goodness and love.

I can’t thank you enough for all your prayers, encouragement, and financial gifts. You play such a crucial role in what God is doing in Spain. Thank you so much! I can't wait to see what He has in store for us!

Celebration Service

Saturday, April 26
As I prepare to leave for Spain, I'd love to celebrate with all of you what God has done and say thank you for being part of the team. Join us at 2:00 for a short worship service at Gibbsville Reformed Church or come anytime before 4:00 to enjoy fellowship and refreshments. Please come if you can; everyone is welcome!

Request Program 

Sunday, May 18

Come hear musicians and vocalists from local churches. They’ll be performing at Gibbsville Reformed Church on May 18 at 6:00 p.m. The Request Program will be a wonderful time of worship in music and song followed by a free-will offering.

The offering will help the basketball team coming to Spain for the Basketball/English Camp in Cáceres. There are 6 people from the area who are giving of their time to help in this evangelistic ministry in Spain.

Please come to enjoy beautiful worship music and hear more about the basketball camp ministry in Spain.  Get to know the team coming to serve and help us raise funds to get them to Spain! We hope to see you there!

Praying for May

Chicago

Less than a week after returning home from training, God brought together all of the paperwork for my Visa. It was a miracle how it all came together in just the right timing! Thank you all for praying for that.

The meeting with the consulate went smoothly, and my Visa is being processed! Praise God!

Now we wait 1-3 months for its return. Please pray with me that it would return quickly. My team and I desire that I would be in Spain at the beginning of May, so that I have a couple weeks to set my feet down before the interns arrive May 22.

All things are in order for me to go to Spain once my Visa returns. World Team’s records for monthly support indicate 98% and I’m quite certain the final percentage is in route to seal my monthly support. I have a trip to World Team headquarters at the end of March, and after that I should be good to go!

In the meantime, I hope to prepare for Spain well, make the most of my time left with family and friends, and substitute teach a little.

The good-byes and my time left is becoming very real. I dread saying good-bye and facing all that I will miss. I must cling to the Lord, that He is good, and trust Him for all that’s ahead.

Thank you for making this journey with me! I couldn’t do it alone. I'm excited to see all that God has in store for us in Spain!!

ICC Training Summary

Thank you so much for your continued prayers and encouragement as I attended training in North Carolina. It was a good month - a stretching month - but good. 

Seeing from another person's perspective

The Intercultural Communications Course focused on four different areas: Spiritual Vitality, World View, Partnering, and Language & Culture Acquisition. We learned a lot in these four areas, and ICC felt somewhat like being thrown into  a pressure cooker !

We were forced into situations and scenarios that made us uncomfortable, stressed, and annoyed. We weren’t allowed to ignore the junk that God brought to the surface.We had to “go towards that.” It was stressful and hard at times, but I am so very thankful for all that I learned and how God grew me.

I am reminded to go to Spain as a learner and a servant. I do not have the answers. I do not know best. God does and will use, not me, but team to accomplish His purposes.

Memorizing Philippians 2:1-11 during this month powerfully enforced how we are to have the attitude of a servant like Jesus did.

I praise God for all that He has done and look forward to Spain with great excitement! 

Thank you all for your prayers and faithful partnership. I am so glad God calls us into community and that together we can further His kingdom.

Praise God for:

• An accepted Visa!!
• His provision of support
• His promises of love and faithfulness
• Learning & growth during training

Ask God for:

• A quick return on my Visa so that I may arrive in Spain at the beginning of May
• Spanish people to come to know Jesus
• Health 
• All of us to be given the attitude of Jesus
• God's strength for Kristin, my teammate in Spain, who is adjusting to her recent move to Cáceres

The team in Spain that I'm excited to join!